How to Avoid the Question?
Q: Last weekend, while putting away laundry, I found a diamond ring hidden in my boyfriend's dresser. I love him, but don't feel ready for that! We've only recently moved in together and I think it's too soon to take the next step. Is there any way I can keep him from popping the question? -- Marissa, 26
Dr. Susan: He may feel it's too soon also, which is why the ring is hidden. Apparently for your boyfriend, moving in together was a very big step, one that will probably be followed sooner or later by a proposal of marriage. I can only suggest you sound him out casually. "Where do you see us in five years?" or "I love living with you. I don't want to change a thing. Don't you agree?"
If he does pop the question before you're ready, be honest. Say something like, "I'm speechless! No, really. Could you ask me that again in a year? I love you madly, and 'm not going anywhere, but I have to be more than a hundred per cent sure before I commit to the forever thing."
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.