She Dreams of Her Ex

Q: I love my new boyfriend and have never been happier in a relationship. I could truly see this one going the distance. That's why I'm so troubled when I have occasional (maybe once every month or two) dreams about my ex. I always wake up feeling sad and nostalgic, sometimes for the rest of the day. Does this mean anything? -- Amber, 43

Dr. Susan: Our dreams often lag behind what's going on in our everyday lives. Maybe our subconscious has stuff to work out, or maybe those dreams are just detritus of our former lives still floating around for no particular reason. Sometimes, it's true, a repeating dream offers a clue to something we're missing.

That doesn't mean your subconscious is smarter than your waking mind. If you're truly happy in your current relationship, take those melancholy dreams about your ex with a grain of salt. Don't give them more weight than they deserve. Looking back with fondness and a bit of sorrow at what no longer exists is part of living.

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