Don't Men Court Anymore?
Q: I'm a 34-year-old successful woman with a great job, nice body, and lots of interests. I'm dating a few guys who seem to be attentive when we're together, but I feel like I'm the one who is always texting or calling to check in. It'd be nice to be courted a bit, but am I being old-fashioned? Is this the way men behave these days? I'm afraid if I don't keep things moving along I'll end up alone.— Teresa, 34
Dr. Susan: Rest assured that when you click with someone you're dating, he'll make an effort to keep in touch and get together. If you're not hearing from them, it usually means they're busy, dating around like you are, and not in a big hurry to see you again. I don't know if guys "court" the way you seem to want, as equality is more and more the norm. But that doesn't mean you should have to do all the work.
Make sure your texts and calls "to check in" aren't pesky. Maybe all the guys you've been dating are the practical kind who only text or call when they have a specific outing in mind. Try not to show your desperation. Good relationships can't be forced.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.