Is Kinky Affair Too Risky?
Q: My friend is head-over-heels in love with a bad boy. He lives in another state and never comes to see her, but she thinks he's awesome. She says he is like her Christian Grey. I guess they do kinky things and it makes her feel wanted. She confessed that they send pics to each other and even do video chats in bed. I'm worried about her because this guy doesn't talk to her like he cares about her. I think he could use these videos against her or might even sell them. She thinks I'm being ridiculous and am just jealous. How can I get through to her that what she's doing is dangerous? — LaToya, 39
Dr. Susan: By carrying on this unusual affair, your friend has chosen immediate gratification (no matter how long she has to wait for it) over any possibly dangerous consequences. Seeing her infrequently, her boyfriend could very well be involved with any number of other women (or men), putting her at risk for disease. And you're right that putting those images out there could risk her privacy and more. But it's not up to you to convince her. Sometimes being a friend means letting go, no matter how misguided your friend is.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.