Upset by Pals' Jokes about Her Guy
Q: I am in a long-term relationship with a great guy. We've both decided that marriage isn't for us but we're very happy sharing our lives together. My issue is with my friends who make jokes or snide comments because he's a hairdresser — as if this profession isn't "masculine" enough. He actually owns the salon and I consider his professional endeavors very entrepreneurial and he is quite respected in his industry. I want his advice, as I'm sure he's faced such issues over the years, but don't want to imply that I doubt our relationship. — Carrie, 48
Dr. Susan: If his profession of salon owner and hairdresser doesn't bother you, then your friends' jokes are meaningless. If you argue back too seriously with comments like "he owns the salon" or "he's highly respected and entrepreneurial," you'll only give them more ammunition. Save those explanations for your closest friends when you have real conversations about their and your relationships. For your wider circle of friends, why not tease back with a smile, "You're just jealous because I'm guaranteed never to have a bad hair day!" I'm not so sure you need to share your friends' snide and ignorant comments with him.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.