He Wants Her to Cook Meat
Q: My husband and I have very different eating habits. He's a carnivore and I prefer to eat lighter, cooking more vegetables and rarely eating meat. I've prepared the meals for many years, but I'm increasingly uncomfortable cooking meat—from handling it to the way it smells up the house. I can't expect him to change his diet because of me, but at the same time, I'm his wife, not his cook. What is a reasonable compromise on this sensitive issue? — Evelyn, 57
Dr. Susan: You are a sister of my heart! You're eating healthfully and sensibly, while your husband still prefers a meat-heavy diet. This seems to be a not-uncommon quandary, but it's one that two people who care about one another ought to be able to work out. Here's what we do in my house: I only prepare vegetarian meals. My husband who lusts after a hamburger or other meaty dish sometimes, eats one when we are away from home, or brings one home with him. When we bring in pizza, I take his beloved pepperoni off my slices. I would think your mate might be willing to prepare a meaty meal for himself once or twice a week, perhaps making enough for two nights or enough to freeze for another day. I'm sure you've done this already, but do show him the studies that show less meat (certainly red meat) is better for one's health.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.