Do Guys Ever Like Heavy Girls?
Q: I never had a boyfriend until recently, even though I graduated college with tons of guy friends. I'm a big girl who has always struggled with her weight, and I feel that's why no guy would want me. I've been told I'm pretty and have a great personality, and my guy friends tell me it will happen. Well, I'm now seeing someone for almost three months. I even thought he was kidding when he first asked me out but he persisted.
My problem is that I'm afraid to let myself jump in totally. I know it'll end once he sees me totally undressed. I keep wondering why this guy who's a normal weight would be interested in me when he could have any other thin girl. He tells me I'm beautiful but somehow I don't believe him. — Christine, 22
Dr. Susan: It's a shame you have so little self-esteem. If this guy has been insisting he cares for you for the past three months, he's probably not pretending. I don't think he's going to be shocked when he sees you undressed, as people can pretty much tell what's hiding under our clothing anyway. And maybe he can't have any thin girl he wants, if he wanted one. Also, you're just assuming any thin girl is more desirable as a girlfriend than you are, which isn't true. It takes so many individualized qualities to form a desirable person, not only how much one weighs. Then again, if he's your first boyfriend, maybe you ought not "jump in totally" quite yet. You're going to learn a lot over the coming months. But do try to trust that you're worthy of men's attention.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.