Will Her Disability Send Him Packing?

Q: I was the victim of a drunk-driving incident which left me disabled. My boyfriend of three years was so supportive and by my side. But it's been almost a year since it happened and I feel that he's becoming more and more distant. I've tried bringing it up but he says everything's okay. I'm heartbroken because I know what my future will be. I'm still adjusting to it all, the wheelchair, my emotions, and I know it's hard for him too. In my heart I know he would have an easier life with someone else but I don't want to lose him. I don't know if I'm expecting too much. — Brooke, 27

Dr. Susan: Love, ideally, is the same thing, no matter what your physical disabilities. It's as much a commitment as a changeable emotion. Both of you have had to adjust to a very different reality and relationship than the one you expected three or four years ago. What could be happening, though, may have little to do with your condition. Love is a matter of committing to someone through hard times, no matter what emotional ups and downs either of you go through. It can be hard in your 20s to know what you're going to want down the line.

If your boyfriend's feelings are stagnating after three years together, that might have happened anyway. I don't think it's too much to expect total honesty from him. Might he have an easier life with someone else? That's impossible to say, as who knows what another woman would have brought to a relationship. People get old, they get cancer, they flip out, they get fat, grumpy, or boring. What you can do is show him how much you love him. And try to determine where the sense of distance is actually coming from.

Copyright © Fun Online Corporation

Love Experts

Need Advice? Ask Our Experts!

Love Library: Featured Articles

Sex Wars: He Said / She Said