He Prefers TV to Going Out
Q: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and his attitude has really shifted. We have a great time together when we're out on a date, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything besides sit on the couch and watch TV. He's a great guy otherwise, and when I mention it he seems attentive for a week but then it's back to the way it was before. Should I give him another chance or unplug this relationship? — Amy, 32
Dr. Susan: So the pattern you're seeing is that he doesn't much like to get out and do stuff, but he'll try to please you if you ask. For a while, anyway. My advice? Get used to the way he is, because that's his default. He would like you to be happy, but he's mainly got to be happy with himself. You're more active and social than he is. You could try setting up a date night or two every week, but without you initiating going out, he isn't likely to become much of a social guy. Another chance won't change who he is. Unplug if you prefer something other than what you've got.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.