Fuzzy Memories of Their First Night
Q: I met a guy that I really like. He likes me too and after only three weeks it feels special. Except that neither of us really remembers what happened the night we got together! It was at a bar and we ended up going home together but it's fuzzy for me AND him. This is completely out of character for both of us, since we're definitely not partiers. We both have avoided talking about it, but it already feels awkward when people ask how we met. And I feel like one of us will inevitably bring it up during our first fight. Do we deal with it now? Or figure it out along the way as we will with all the baggage people inevitably bring into a relationship?- Tracey, 22
Dr. Susan: What's the big deal? Agree on a story suited for public consumption, and don't focus on not knowing what happened. Something like, "We happened to meet at a bar and fell for each other right away." I mean, it sounds like you both got so drunk that you have no clear memory of your first-night bedroom shenanigans. Either that or something was slipped into your drink, and he's lying, or into both your drinks, and it worked out okay nonetheless. So deal with it together now and don't wait for a fight to clear the air. If this relationship is going to last a lot longer than three weeks, it's crucial that you learn to confront awkward events.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.