She's True, But He's Blue
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months. We've both been through bad relationships where we were cheated on. I love him and would never cheat on him, but for some reason he thinks I am. He says stupid little comments to me all the time. He swears I'm cheating but I work from 9-5, and he lives with me at my parents' house. We are always together. Why does he still doubt me?? — Melinda, 18
Dr. Susan: Your boyfriend doubts you because he's been fooled before and is afraid to trust anyone. His stupid little comments are a way of asking you for reassurance, so be kind and keep telling him that you are true to him. The fact that you have "no time" is not enough to turn off his doubts. When people want to have affairs, they manage to find the time, no matter what. So see his comments for what they are and offer him as much of a sense of security as you possibly can. And if you tire of him, which certainly may happen with you being so young, be honest and upfront with him.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.