What's a Real "Date"?
Q: I was involved in a turbulent marriage, and finally, after enough abuse, I am now getting divorced. We have been apart a year. I'm having difficulty getting back into the dating scene because I now know what I don't want. Seems a lot of men have forgotten what a real date is (i.e., it's not "when can I come over to your house?"). I want a real date: dinner, a movie, nothing overpriced, just a chance to get to know each other before anything big happens. Do you think it's possible at this time to find a man like this or am I dreaming? -- Theresa, 43
Dr. Susan: I don't think you're dreaming at all. Plenty of men are still fine with traditional dating, though a coffee date is often better for getting to know someone without anyone having to invest a lot of time or money. You may find things going a bit smoother once your divorce is final, as some men are leery of women who may decide to go back to their husbands. Above all, times have indeed changed, and you need to remain flexible about the specifics of what constitutes a date.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.